How To Become Unpopular Read online

  If a son of a powerful person marries a girl from other caste/ religion/ region, both son and his father are praised. On the other hand in the same situation the son and father get flak from the society if they are marginal player of the society. The extreme case is honour killing.

  In the society, if a powerful smiles, everyone has to smile and when he / she squeeze his eyebrows or sneezes, many may have to lose their livelihood.

  Should I give any tips here, probably no.

  Chapter XX: How to become Unpopular

  Mother and son:

  Normally relation between mother and son sours after son's marriage. However, it may start just after a son takes a decision to marry a girl who may not be his mother's choice. Even if the son marries his mother's choice that does not guarantee that after one month of his marriage the son does not become enemy number one of his own mother.

  A few tips for sons to become unpopular before their mothers are listed below.

  Your mother opposes your marriage to your lover of five years and she threatens to commit suicide if you marry that girl. Instead of conceding to her demand, you poses her few abetting questions, 'How do you plan to commit suicide? If you have already decided to commit suicide by hanging, should I bring some strong ropes for you?'

  Bring two dresses of same quality and same price for your mom and your mother in law and tell your wife to choose for her mother first in front of your mother.

  Tell your mother that your wife is a better cook than her.

  Tell your mother that your mother in law is a better cook than her.

  On any auspicious day, first go to your in laws' place in the morning to take blessings and take blessings from your mom in the evening.

  Take your in laws for a family picnic leaving behind your mother.

  Refuse to give money to your brother for his studies citing some financial problems and at the same time you give an expensive gift to your sister in law.

  Give more importance to your sister in law and ignore your sister, that too in front of your mom.

  Do not tell your mom about your income, but discuss your financial matters with your in laws.

  You ignore your mother when she is pretending to be ill just to attract your attention.

  Praise the gifts received from your in laws in front of your mother.

  Praise your mother in law before your mother.

  Finally you say your mother that, she has done nothing for hm.

  A few tips for mothers to become unpopular before their sons are listed below.

  Always interfere your son's married life.

  Always tell your daughter in law that her other son and his wife are far better than the son with whom you are staying.

  Always praise the other siblings (of your son) for advising you for taking medicines over phone.

  Always praise the other siblings (of your son) for showing their concerns about your health on day to day basis over phone.

  Always show your concerns and sympathy about the families of other siblings (of your son) to your son and daughter in law.

  Always visit your son's home empty handed and go to your daughter's home with all what you can carry.

  When you are sick you stay with this son and praise always your other children.

  Whenever other children asks for Rs. 1000/- you pay them Rs.2000/- and when this son needs, you just tell him that he has sufficient money to meet all his expenditure.

  Give this son only advice, give other things to other children, because this son was a studious student in his college days and got a better job than the other children.

  Tell your daughter in law and grand children that, the son with whom you are staying was a bad student throughout compared with other children and that is why he did not get a good job in any of the big cities and has to stay in his parental house in the village.

  Tell your son that he has to look after you irrespective of the situation he is facing because, she spent lot of money on him for his studies. Please repeat this sentence every third day.

  Finally always criticise this son for all his deeds before his children, wife and in laws.

  Father and son:

  All the fathers want that their sons surpass them in all spheres. But most of the fathers are biased to one or the other sons, if they have more than one son.

  Few tips for a son, who is not a favourite one, to become scorn enemy of his father are listed below.

  You surpass your father's favourite son(s) in all respect.

  Refuse to marry the girl whom your father selects for you.

  Arrange your marriage without consulting your father.

  After attaining an age, ignore your father in any decision making process, including subject selection in college to selection of the girl for your marriage.

  Other tips after marriage are similar to that of tips to become enemy of your mother as mentioned above.

  Few tips for a father to become scorn enemy of his son who is not a favourite one, are listed below.

  Always ridicule your son whenever he asks some questions, at least in public when he is very young.

  Tell jokes about his lack of intelligence or lack of understanding or lack of communication skill compared to the other children.

  Never ever give any credit to this son no matter how much he deserves.

  For any fault on the part of any children, you abuse this son.

  Ridicule all his achievement on one or other pretext.

  After his marriage, you may follow the suits as advised to your wife and you will see, nobody can stop you from becoming an enemy of your own son.

  Mother and daughter:

  Many experts say that many mothers treat their own daughters as a threat to them as other women. That may be a dangerous situation. So my analysis will not go up to that extent. However, few tips for a daughter to become scorn enemy of her mother are listed below. The list may be only exemplary not exhaustive; you can experiment any other tip at the appropriate time and situation.

  Praise cookery skill of your Aunt (obviously from your father's side) before your mom on every Sunday morning in front of your father.

  Always try to score less marks than your cousin from your father's side. Then tell your mother that you inherit her brain.

  You can do that with your neighbours' daughters as well or with the daughter of your mom's best friend or enemy. Then, praise intelligence of the mothers of those girls.

  You choose the groom chosen by your paternal side over the choice of your maternal side.

  Tell your father that your mother has paid a huge amount, preferably adding one or two zero after the actual figure, to his brother/ sister/ father.

  Tell your mother that you have lost the shawl which was bought by her brother from Europe. If she scolds you, you offer the price taking money from your father. Do not forget to tell that your mother is financially dependent on her father.

  You spoil the sari your mother always adores, beyond repair, on your annual day school function and ignore her emotion with full of arrogance.

  Finally, tell your mother that you love your father more than your mother. Further, you can add a little salt in her wound by saying that your mother has done nothing for you.

  Few tips for a mother to become scorn enemy of her daughter are listed below.

  Tell your daughter that her birth has spoiled your life.

  Repeatedly remind her how much sacrifice you have made for her.

  Blame her for any misfortune happened to your life after her birth.

  Whenever she sits for her lunch or dinner, you let her feel that her presence make you unhappy.

  If she stays outside let her feel on her every visit that she is an unwanted guest.

  Always demoralize her at the slightest pretext.

  And finally tell her that her death will make you happier.

  Father and Daughter:

  Normally father and daughters have very cordial relation till she attains her marriag
eable age. Problem normally starts after daughter wants to spread the wings of her mind (you may read as desire also).

  Few tips to the daughters to become enemies of their fathers are listed below.

  Send a sms from your father's mobile phone to your boy friend (your father does not like your boy friend) and tell your boy friend to send his reply on the same phone since your phone is not working.

  Elope with a boy who would be last choice of your father.

  Leave your husband's home on one or other pretext regularly which your father thinks you behave in a childish manner.

  Send a court notice to your father to give at least fifty percent share of his property.

  Few tips to the fathers to become enemies of their daughters are listed.

  Do not allow your daughter to meet her boy friend.

  Since your daughter married to the boy of her choice do not allow her to visit your home.

  Deprive her property right from your property and your wife's property.

  Humiliate her on her every visit to your home.

  Every time she visits you, ask her why she has come.

  Husband and wife:

  Few tips to spoil your married life:

  Always blame your spouse for anything and everything.

  Always blame your spouse for spoiling your career.

  Always spend on you, if your spouse spends some amount on him/ her blame him/ her for overspending.

  Praise your husband's friend for his extra ordinary physical and mental ability in front of him on regular basis. You have to raise this point at least during an argument

  Call your mother's family on his birthday without informing him.

  Call him at eleven at night from your mother's place to pick you up as you had a brawl with your sister in law (you know that your husband likes that lady).

  Tell your husband to bring food from restaurant on the last week of the month as your in laws have arrived and you are not going to cook food for unwelcome guests.

  Tell your husband to take the entire family to a costly restaurant on the last week of the month as your sister along with her husband have arrived and you are not going to expose your tattering economic condition to them by serving home cooked (made?) food.

  Should I give any more tips? I do not want a divorce at this age!!!!!

  Brother and Sister:

  Few tips are for the sister who wants to be a scorn enemy of her brother:

  Make friendship with your brother's worst enemy.

  Elope with your brother's worst enemy.

  Send a court notice for property share.

  Whenever you visit your brother's house, tell his wife that your brother had torrid love affairs with a number of girls before his marriage.

  Tell your brother's wife that your parents thought your brother will not able to father a child as they were in the impression that your brother might be impotent.

  Tell your brother's wife that he had some mental problem before his marriage.

  Always fight with his wife or girl friend.

  Always criticise him and his wife for not taking care of your parents.

  Always remind his in laws how much money has been spent on his education.

  Inform his girl friend / wife about his earlier affairs and tell that those were better than the present one.

  Sister and sister:

  Some points by which one sister can initiate a fight with her sister, are listed below.

  Knowing that your sister has a soft corner for Mr. X, you confide her that you love him before she could tell you her feelings.

  Tell your mother that your sister loves Mr. Y to whom your mother has lot of dislike.

  You ask your sister to lend her best dress for a particular function which both of you are going to attend.

  Tell your elder brother that your sister is dating with his best friend.

  Tell your brother in law about your sister's ex-boy friend.

  Tell your brother in law how your sister dislikes his some particular habits.

  Tell your sister about your brother in law's meeting with his ex girlfriend after his marriage to her sister.

  Tell your brother in law that the best item was cooked by her mother on his first visit to their house; not by her sister as claimed earlier.

  Tell your sister that earlier girl friend of her brother in law was more beautiful than her sister.

  Tell your sister that the gifts given in your marriage by your parent are much costlier than those given to her in her marriage.

  Tell your sister that your father loves you more than your sister.

  And so on.

  Mother in law and son in law:

  In India normally this relation is not a very bad one. But no son in law thinks she is at par with his own mother. However, most of the mother in law pretends to show her love for her son in law. However, a son in law becomes scorn enemy of his mother in law, the moment he starts fighting with his wife. These are some statements which will facilitate you to become unpopular with your mother in law.

  Tell your wife in front of your mother in law that she had not taught her anything except how to argue with husband.

  Tell your wife not to take outsider's interference in their home affairs in front of your mother in law hinting her as an outsider.

  Tell your wife in front of your mother in law that one should not marry a lady from family of low standards hinting her as a lady with low standard.

  I need not have to give any advice to the mother in laws as they are, in general, professors of that field knowing fully well when and how to attack their son in laws below the belt. They are mostly able to interfere each and every activity of their daughters to make the lives of their son in laws hell. Those who are still not expert in this field are requested to meet Mr. Jackson's mother in law for consultation free of cost. You want to know the address of Mr. Jackson's mother in law. Do not worry she is Omni present!

  Father in law and a son in law:

  Both hate each other from the day one. However, they are diplomatic enough not to show their actual colours till one crosses the limit. How to cross the limit by a son in law?

  Ask money from your father in law on one or other pretext.

  Abuse your wife either physically or mentally, or both ways in front of him.

  Instigate your wife to demand her share of property from your father in law.

  Let me dare to advise a father in law also to cross the limit by saying these statements (mentioned below) in front of your son in law or in front of any other relatives of your son in law.

  Tell him that you have to look after financially his daughter even after her marriage to this hopeless fellow.

  Tell him to stop asking money in future.

  Refuse to part with your daughter (his wife) any property.

  Humiliate him in public on one pretext or another.

  Make fun of him for his financial or intellectual capabilities.

  Misbehave with his father on any issue.

  Make some loose comments on his parent's family.

  And finally ridicule his manhood!

  Mother in law and daughter in law:

  This is mother of all relations. In last five decades I am looking for a daughter in law who loves her mother in law and vice versa (sans the Indian soap operas like Sath Nivana--- Gopi Bahu). I need not have to give any tips to become scorn enemy to each other as they are born enemies.

  Father in law and daughter in law:

  Normally the relation between father in law and daughter in law are reasonably good. It is because, enemy of an enemy is a friend in need and friend indeed. However, if any father in law wants to become scorn enemy of his daughter in law, he need not have to search for any professor as he has the best home tutor in his wife. He has to behave like his wife in dealing with his daughter in law, in no time he will also become a sworn enemy of his daughter in law. Similarly a daughter in law can become a sworn enemy of her father in law, if she be
have father in law the way she behaves with her mother in law.

  Sister in law and sister in law:

  This relation is only second to relation of mother in law and daughter in law in terms of enmity. In this case also in last five decades I am looking for a sister in law who loves her sister in law and vice versa. I need not have to give any tips to become scorn enemy to each other. All of them are post doctorate degree holders in their respective fields of hitting above the belts, under the belts, inside the ring and outside the rings. I always salute this relation with empathy and sympathy.

  Sister in law and brother in law:

  Normally the relations between sister in laws and brother in laws, like the relations between father in laws and daughter in laws, are reasonably good. However, if any brother in law wants to become scorn enemy of his sister in law, he need not have to search for any professor as he has the best home tutors in his mother and sisters. He has to behave like his mother or sisters in dealing with his sister in law, in no time he will also become a sworn enemy of his sister in law. Similarly a sister in law can become a sworn enemy of her brother in law, if she behave brother in law the way she behaves with her mother in law or sister in law.

  Relative versus relatives:

  I can give you some tips how one can force your relatives to become enemies forever.

  You landed in a job, none of your relatives has ever been able grab such a honourable and financially satisfying job. Winning an award may be an icing on the cake to become enemy of all your relatives. Then you invite all your friends for a party without inviting some of your close relatives. Then see how these relatives become your enemies.

  Run away or marry a girl who according to all your close relatives not only extremely beautiful but also from a reputed / rich family. Then cut off all relations with all your relatives. I assure you, all will gang up against you.

  Your son has been selected for the best school/ college with hundred percent scholarships. Start ridiculing children of others who are not very good in academics.

  You come to know some secrets of one of your relatives and you publicise that secret to all. I can guarantee, he will be a scorn enemy for his entire life.

  If you fail to become enemy of your relatives with these tips, you may take few lessons from the character of Duryodhan of the epic Mahabharat.